Dating has been and will always be a worldwide trend. Intimacy, which almost all people would like to have, can only be pursued with dating. But of course, to engage in dating also requires heavy responsibilities and maturity. As the media display more and more positive images of dating, teenagers couldn’t bear to want to find out how it feels like being in the realm of dating. Parents, therefore, would sometimes try to stop their children and justify that the right time has not come yet – a child’s life should be first concentrated on his/her studies. So when is the right time for teenagers to date? Moreover, should they actually be allowed to date?
While I was surfing in the internet, I bumped into a site where intelligent people can have formal debates through type-written arguments. Viewers from all over the world are also allowed to vote to determine the debate’s winner. One topic, initiated by a user named epicuriousluxurious(2011), talked about the issue regarding teenagers dating. Fortunately, another user, WriterSelbe(2011), accepted the former’s debate request which led to my extensive research about this issue. All of their arguments were valid and had very good justifications.
Gaining intimacy from someone will undoubtedly improve and further develop one’s personality, usually also from the conflicts and experience dating can provide. While a few bad experiences can be present in dating, fun times and magical moments will not lose their places as well. These things can serve as inspirations for a teenager’s academic life. Of course, teenagers would not want their partners to be hindrances in their studies. In this manner, they will strive harder to keep a good image for their partners. Most parents argue that dating can lead to sexual intimacy in a teenager’s relationship, however, according to WriterSelbe, teenagers, at some point of their lives, will most likely engage in sex regardless of relationships. Preventing teenagers from dating will only make sex less meaningful Rather than having it(sex) be something that their relationship brought them to, it would be something their sexual frustration brought them to.” (“Teens should...”, 2011) Lastly, dating does not necessarily be directed to marriage. We can not expect every relationship to work out at first; however, WriterSelbe pointed out that no relationship is a failed relationship – the experience gained from the interactions make up for it. The older a person gets, the pain acquired from a broken relationship will cause more severe damage; therefore, dating as early as during teenage years is proper to be able to identify when a relationship should be stopped.
Many parents nowadays contradict how relationships can benefit their teenagers. In contrast to what I mentioned in the previous paragraph, pain cause by relationships, according to epicuriousluxurious(2011), may inflict emotional trauma upon a teenager’s well-being. C. Sellers and M. Bromley’s(1996) research says that 32% of students report dating violence by a previous partner, while 21% report violence by a current partner. Moreover, B. Fisher and F. Cullen(2000) proposes that victims may remain in abusive relationship for many reasons, including: fear or perpetrator, self-blame, minimization of the crime, loyalty, or love for the perpetrator, social or religious stigma, or lack of understanding. This can cause future relationships to be hard to initiate because of the fear instilled by broken relationships. Well, not all teenagers are mature enough, too; therefore, they are intellectually unable to maintain serious relationships. While teenagers engage in a relationship, they also have to cope with their studies. As a result, attaining high grades will almost be impossible as the student’s relationship may serve as a distraction. Also, experience from dating may not be necessary as most people believe it comes naturally and does not require practicing. “How can teenagers who are generally, mentally unstable excel in maintaining a relationship and in getting exceptional grades? Most students have the ability to achieve exceptional grades such as a GPA above 3.8; distraction is the culprit.” (“Teens..”, 2011)
I believe each teenager has different views in dating. Some may see it as a serious thing that must be thought for so long, while others may perceive it only as a little thing called puppy love which is merely for pastime purposes. Whichever view a teenager may have, given that he/she is ready, his/her parents should allow him/her to go for it. Teenagers should be old enough to know how to make decisions for themselves. Parents need not always to take control of their son’s/daughter’s life, rather, they just have to guide them in making important and critical decisions – just my two cents.
B. Fisher and F. Cullen, (2000) “Extent and Nature of the Sexual Victimization of College Women,” (Washington:NIJ, 2000)
C. Sellers and M. Bromley, (1996) “Violent Behavior in College Student Dating Relationships,” Journal of Contemporary Justice
I TOTALLY AGREE! Nice writing style, by the way. Keep it up!:)
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